Dancing Machine

Since becoming a member of my local gym for a mere $10 a month (score!), I have been shaking my grove thing in zumba class a few nights a week.  I love these zumba classes for two reasons: number one -  it's an awesomely fun workout, and number two - it's an awesomely great time to people watch.  Up until recently, I thought to myself,  I must look pretty damn good doing these body rolls right now.  Then, one night, I stopped looking at my instructor's choreography in the mirror to focus on myself and realized, with horror, what an ass I looked like.  But that doesn't stop me from going.  No, sir!  Because I recognize how foolish I look as I girate to those latin beats and can chuckle about it, I don't feel so bad about exploited my fellow zumba dancers who don't quite make the cut either.  

First up - the girl in the front who makes sexy faces at herself in the mirror, though, they really aren't sexy.  She's got the attitude that I once had...I feel so hot right now dancing to these sultry latin beats...but she's got the pouty lips and overly expressive eyes to go with it.  You are not Shakira, girlfriend.  Give it up.    Yikes.

Next, there's the 75 year old ladies getting down and dirty next to the instructor.  One of them has an 80s perm and flinches more than moves.  Her friend, on the other hand, really keeps up with the choreographer and barely breaks a sweat.  I'd say she looks better than all of us other girls combined.  Go, old age!

In the back corner we have middle aged lady with a green sweat band around her head and wrist bands on her arms who does every dance move, and I mean every, backwards.  Bless her heart, she tries so hard to keep up with the choreography.  But she is sooooo far gone I'm afraid she is going to hurt herself, or worse, someone standing next to her.  The instructor moves left, she jiggles right.  The instructor moves forward, she bounces 5 steps backwards.  I guess it's a good thing she has those sweat bands on; maybe they'll break her fall one day.

And last, drumroll please, I bring to you heavily make-uped blond chick with fake boobies and, who, I SWEAR puts padding down her skin tight workout pants.  I was so boggled by the bump in her butt one day that I actually googled butt pads.  Could people actually be stuffing padding in their ass to make it look plumper?  Yes, my friends, they can.

Apparently, there are all different ways to pump up the appearance of your derriere!   Check them out!

I hope this blurb has inspired all of you to go to zumba to laugh at everyone else's mistakes, I mean....to dance your heart out and break a sweat!