This photograph is awesome for so many reasons.

1) I look crazy hot at 14 years old. 

2) It was taken with a POLAROID camera!  Can you believe that only 13 years ago we were using polaroids and now they are almost nonexistent?  Nuts.

3) <back story>  I flew home to New Jersey this past week for my spring break.   Sitting on our mantle in front of a little box that now holds my dog was this picture.  It is one of the only pictures we have of Sidney when we she was a puppy.  She was so tiny!  I think it goes without saying that I balled my eyes out when I saw this.  The tears flowed continuously throughout the rest of the week.  And they certainly haven’t slowed down since my return back to Florida as the sound of my dog’s tiny footsteps on our kitchen floor hauntingly resonate in my mind night after night after night.  My heart is very quiet knowing that I won’t hear that sound again.  

I know it’s completely irrational to expect a dog to live forever.  But sometimes emotions overtake one's rationale and can turn you into a complete lunatic who craves nothing more than one last lick from a furry friend.

I was two weeks away from my trip home when the dog died.  It has not been easy keeping  my emotions in check so far away from my family.   I’ve been extremely fortunate to have people around me who are understanding of my erratic emotions having experienced the loss of a pet themselves.  Each hug I have received and each tear that they’ve swept aside from my face has made it that much easier to cope. 

I asked my friend at work today how long it takes to get over the death of a dog.  Her response: a very long time.  It eased my mind when she told me that she continued to talk and visit her family dog after he died and was buried in her backyard.  I don’t wish this kind of sadness on anyone, so please don’t misunderstand me and think that I was happy at her grief. However, I found myself feeling like I wasn’t alone in this period of mourning.  

13 years is a long time to have a constant companion in your life.  Really, how often do you even manage to cling on to a human friend for that long?  I can pretty much count on my one hand how many friends I’ve remained close with since I was 14.  But Sidney;  she was there.  Always.

I took my amazingly awesome photo back to Florida with me on Sunday.  It now sits on my night stand next to my CareBear (I’m so mature).  I hope that some day soon I can smile more than cry when gazing at it.  After all, I never felt anything but happy when holding my little puppy girl.